So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
