you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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