i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
