have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
