i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
