When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
