Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
