I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
