oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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