Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize