hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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