I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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