Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
