Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
