if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
