$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
