Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
