i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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