: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize