I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
