Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
