I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
