he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize