I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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