I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I need a beard to bite.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize