Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
