how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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