Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize