she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i out mim tonsoeep
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