The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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