There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
