It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
high people should be assigned attendants
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
