Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
