May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
