Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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