Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
