It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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