What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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