The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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