Cold hands, warm shart.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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