All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Enjoy the penises
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
