just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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