If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
