wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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