they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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