I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
