do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
