This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize