The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
