Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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