On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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