I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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