I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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