We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
