No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
