i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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