I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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