Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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