The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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